Labyrinths of Being

Pr Jamila Benabou

Poet :Abdeljabbar Choukri Sociologist, psychologist, noelist and poet Tranalation : Pr Jamila Benabou English teacher University Hassan II Casablanca

Labyrinths of Being

I wandered in desert and waste lands… I was burned with the sun’s incandescent fire… I climbed to the lofty high mountains… And sailed in the raging waves of the sea… I did this as the first … Greek philosophers before Socrates did… They were searching for the origin of existence… In all parts of the universe… A miserable awareness… confronting the unknown… I shouted who I am?... Who I am ?... What is my being in the existence ?... In the time and place of existence… Questions asked by every one… Since the dawn of human history… Yet, the legends and beliefs… Lead all people astray… With allusion of the origin of existence... I will not tell him what Nitetzsche had said… « Thus spoke Zarathoustra »… And I will not say what Heguel… Had said about existence… And I will not say what Heidger… Said about time and existence… And I will not say what Sartre… Had said about existence and nothingness… I say here poems… It stems from my self and my being… Moment by moment I find my self… I find myself immersed in search… About my nothingness and my existence… I synthesize an anthology of poetry… Which stems from my being… I find myself losing my mind… And I walk in the deserts of my existence… From which I picked up refreshing roses… But I got only thorns… It hurts me.. in nothingness… Does every one speak about me… ? That I was nothing.. in nothingness… I remembered one day… When I was a child… My mother recounted about my nothingness… Before my birth.. at the moment… I shouted my existence… When my mother threw me… From nothingness to the absurdity of existence… With the moaning of absurdity I crooked… And with the labyrinths of existence I sighed… I was existing in the dreams of nothingness… And I imagine worlds of beings… I yearned for my mother’s bosom… Escaping from nothingness… She told me legends about non existence… About Sindibad’s adventures… Which came from nothing… And about orcs and elves ‘ treasure… That came from nothing… She told me… About Sayf Dou Yazane who was born from nothing… And about Antara Ibn Chaddad’s wars… Which was originated from nowhere… And I begged her to tell me …. Stories of one thousand and thousand nights… In the stillness of the night I saw… Dark nothingness drenched in blackness… Told the moment of absolute nothingness… Before the creation of the large universe… And in the light of the glowing moon… Reflects rays of non-existence in existence… And it was legends about nothingness and existence… It makes me remember the children’s innocence... And the mother’s affection… Yet ; I lost my being… In the corridors of existing nothingness… I am not aware of my being in my existence… I miss a mark which can guide me… To nothingness then towards the moment of existence… Nothingness preceeds existence in time and place… In thoughts and feelings… In behaviours and acts… In nothingness is the essence of existence… Questions flow in my feelings… With a strong reaction.. who I am ?... And who I will be in the future… In a future full of talismen of existence… I ask and ask ; but in the labyrinths of existence… In vain .. In vain… The ego encounters the mystery of nothingness… And drowns it in meditation… And thought in the corridors of being… How do I realize my existence through nothingness ?… And to sign on my presence card ?… Through nothingness… Other questions come to my mind… In a moment of bewilderment … Between doubt and certainty… Is existence seperated from nothingness ?… I s there an absolute non existence ?... Which forms a hole in metaphysics… Is there existence without nothingness ?… Which forms a raw material hull… It didn’t exist yet in its forms and appearance… I discovered in the process of meditation … That existence in Cosmos is… Not an absurd form and language… That existence is present in the moment… When the qualities of being are present… However, non existence is present in the moment… When the qualities of being are missing… Nothingness is existence as well… But it is a foggy existence… It lights up like a compass inside the present moment … But it converts the qualities of the lost being… Nothingness is the absence of quality of the existence… Nothingness is the absence of a sequential absence… Absence of conscience and its absurdity… Absence of feeling and its stagnation… Absence of freedom in making decisions… Absence of will in executing when necessary… Feeling of absence… Leads to a feeling of nothingness… Nothingness is emptiness in the midst of emptiness… Soul voidness… Emptiness in feelings… As long as I live in nothingness … Nothingness is a process… Which feelings and awareness discover… In the absence of qualities and features… The existence of the ego was manifested in the being… Which reveals the gathering of attributes of being… And the feeling of nothingness in the moment… Is the dispersion of the attributes of being… And the oscillation of the instantaneous entity… Beteween non existence and existence… Between gathering and scattering… So between non existence and existence… Leads the moment to… labyrinths of being… And the moment loses the flavour of its existence… And abandon dimensions and attributes in existence… And the non existence sweeps away the instant… And he excludes it in every absence of the attribute… Nothingness comes heading and sweeping… And in the conglomeration of dimensions and attributes… Existence is strongly present and abolishes nothingness… The qualities of being love… Nothingness and existence when adventuring… And facing the other … Is drowning in absence and presence… It is a labyrinth of the moment… In non existence and existence…

In some moments of my existence… I feel.. and feel… The non existence and the existence of non existence… The eternal non existence… They take turns pushing each other out… In the process of time… My self appears out of nowhere… And out of nowhere you bring my being… To take away the attribute of the moment is its absence… And the cause of all the attributes of being… But nothingness and any non-exisence carries… In its essence the existence of the ego… In omnipresence, being is intertwined with … All the realms of existence… Nothingness in being misleads the moment… She rises above nothingness… In his eyes to become beyond existence… And shy away from the dimensions of reality samples… Negation in the attributes of being… Navigating in nothingness beyond the universe… The moment rises from its slumber and unconsciousness… To match her quintessence… It seeks to collect attributes to abolish nothingness… From the process of time and place… Here non-existence and existence overlap in spiritual metaphysics…

In the misleading paintings of existence… Nothingness appears identifiable with negativity… Existential struggle prepare for negativity… And makes nothingness… And in existence negativity steps down… And being is presenting itself… In her endeavors and behaviours… The ego stands behind existence… Observe the given nothingness in existence… And nothingness for itself is attached to existence… Nothingness is not execution… No absolute existence is devoid of expression… Nothingness is detachement of qualities… In series of episodes… Every quality is seperated from the other … In a compensotary succession… Temporary complicated seperation occurs… The moment realizes how it is… It carries nothingness in its existence… In absence of the attributes of the being… Nothingness is not a void point… Absolute in existence… Nothingness of the moment are moments of detachement… From those moments on my being is non-existent…

My mind is lost in the labyrinths of myself… Seeks existence through nothingness… In the deep past… I found the legend… Told stories of my being… From nothingness to existence… Embodied by the legend of Sisyphus… And the events of odyssey and Iliyad ‘s epics… In which three elements appeared to me in existence… Gods, nature, and human being… For every one loves robbery and sovereignty… And exclude the other from the process of existence… What is the way to get out of existence… Is it with the law of the jungle ?… In war and battle…

And I kept searching and searching… In the darkness of the existence… The glitter of my being… I searched for my being in philosophy… I found its genesis with Decarte… But in philosophy of Hegel… I found existence and nothingness chanting.. In my being with conflict… And robbery alternates with nothingness and existence … In the argument of master and slave… With the symphony of being… Appeared two non- existent entities… And the moment doesn’t belong to either of the two… Non-existence loves freedom… Wants to sprout into existence… As a plant in a barren desert… Which sacrifices life and goes on fighting… For freedom and sovereignty… Non existence loves life… Comes back … And stops fighting… Wants to impose its presence… Behind the veil of life’s bondage… The love of freedom turns to existence and dominion… The love of life turns to nothingness and bondage… With antology of law… Appears two contrasting beings… One non-existent is the slave… The other existent is the lord… And existence went on with those contrasting issues… The being of victorious lord… The being of defeated slave… A lord who doesn’t want to live … Goes on battles and wins… And the slave clings to life and is defeated…

But existence remains in the ego process… And the succession and escalation of events… Wakes up nothingness from its deep sleep… It is the human being which … wakes up the being from its deaf servitude… And remind her of her being which is immersed in oblivion… It is awareness of freedom and will… Which were constantly enslaved… This is how the non existence is pushed… Towards desperate freedom from slavery… Through this constant enslavement… Beings disappear from slaves… Without disappearance of the moment… But doesn’t lack its human entities… The brain still thinks… The will remain existant… Freedom struggle for incarnation… The slave is aware of his thinking… His thoughts are aware of his existence… As long as he is willing… And the slave discovers in his existence And the power of his being lies in his lord’s need of him… And his possession of job skills… Which the Lord doesn’t own… As he does not work… With the miserable awareness… The slave revolts against the lord… The slave revives his human being… And gets rid of the condemned name… And be transformed through the process of history… The lord of himself ,of his will and his freedom…

I went out searching for my being in existence… I looked for it at politician… I found it just a deal… Attached to the moment of nothingness… I looked for it at the magician… I found it just talisman… Telling about nothingness… And I kept searching and searching… But I don’t find it in nothingness and existence… I find it only in my self… I find it in my brain… I find it in my free will… I find it in my being, in my freedom… The lagos tells about it… By the grace of reason and logic… It wasn’t Thales… Nor am I Casmis… Nor Heraclius… They mess when they transcend… the legend and rule the logic of the mind … They discovered… Their being in meditation… In the existing system in the cosmos… They discovered in the life of existence… The being stays uplifted…

In my existence I discovered the secret of my survival… Of awareness and meditation… With her I realized my humanity… And its eternal sacred being… In logic, will and freedom… Every one who enslaves the moment.. Cannot enslave the being… The brain constantly thinks… The will makes decisions… Even in the absence of temporary freedom and decision…. This how the moment are pushed out of nothingness… Towards desperate liberation for existence… The brain constantly thinks… It doesn’t stop nor sleep… And the will takes decision… Don’t get tired… In my being there is a love for freedom… In my freedom there is love for meditation and thinking…

Translation : Pr. Jamila Benabou , University HassanII. Poet : Dr. Abdeljabbar Choukri. Sociologist, psychologist, novelist and poet